One express sign of a stout nuptial is a couple ' s propensity to commemorate the struggles they have been through calm. In relationship advocacy, the couple ' s way of describing their matrimonial portrays the health of their relationship.
During the first assignation in relationship advising I enjoin the couple to share the story of how the met and tell me about their nuptial. One partner starts by telling their recital and the other partner listens. This in itself is an interesting exercise for couples to listen to the other partner ' s scene. After that I challenge the second partner to fill in the gaps or add organ of their stories.
Rife couples have mutual with me after that initial visitation that they were moved by their partner ' s way of sharing their story, which begun supported their willingness to allow the relationship increased go.
John Gottman, in his studies of marital success, constitute that stable couples illuminate the connubial in terms of a worthwhile expedition that brought them closer together. It is not that the couples that spoke highly of their matrimonial entirely faced more troubles than less stable pairs, but they seem to ice more value and inspiration for their hardship consequently others.
Exercise: Tell Your Story
You and your partner can use this exercise to help you find more things to memorialize in your marital story. The aim is to magnify inarguable beliefs and emotions about your matrimonial. Recollect that in this exercise seeing things in a perfect vivid is what we are looking for.
Answer the questions for yourself first and therefrom share with your partner.
1. How did you conformed? What was your first impression of your partner? What did you most enjoy about the ' honeymoon ' period of your relationship?
2. What do you remember about your dating period? Highlights, difficulties?
3. When and how did you decide to become engaged / married or move from dating to a more serious relationship?
4. How do you overcome differences?
5. What do you remember about your first year / years of marriage? How did you deal with getting used to being a married couple?
6. What moments stand out as fantastic times in your marriage?
7. What moments stand out as challenges and how did you manage to master them together?
8. What is different now than it was at the beginning of your relationship / marriage?
Use the answers to these questions as a base for a discussion between yourself and your partner.
Make this a game of finding the highlights in each other and the relationship.
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